Yes, unfortunately it's true.
This story has a part 3.
So, as usual, in the midst of studying a glorious, terrible craving for Famous Amos's amazing chocolate chip cookies came over me. Instantly, I was worried. Considering my past experience this is my natural reaction now. I fortunately had a dollar at the ready and quickly grabbed it and headed downstairs for the machine. It also just happened that I needed to print a paper so I stopped on the first floor, printed my paper, and tried to use the stairs to the basement (because only losers take the elevator from 1 to the basement.) That's where the problems started.
As I've done many, many times before, I stuck my key in the lock and started to turn it. Unfortunately, the door had other ideas. I tried my key a few more times but eventually gave up. My friend had had the same problem earlier that day so I figured they had changed the lock and went to the desk worker to see what the deal was.
She was puzzled as well and told me that she had used her key on that door multiple times that day and it worked fine. I thanked her and went back to the door to try again, although it took a little longer to get there because I was only about 2 feet tall.
This time I was determined! I tried everything I could possibly imagine to get my key to go into that lock. No matter what I did it always went in half way and stopped. "Am I crazy? am I using the wrong key? maybe I'm turning it the wrong way. maybe I'm not pushing on it enough? Maybe my key is bent or something. Maybe they changed it and gave me the old key by mistake." I decided that something HAD to be wrong with my key and went back to the desk worker and asked if I could try her key.
This time I was certain it would work and I could blame it on my broken key.
But once again, I met with disappointment.
"drat! It IS me! I AM a spaz!"
Sheepishly I went back to the desk worker and gave her her key, "I guess it's just me" and ashamedly got in the elevator to go down. 1 floor. *sigh*
BUT IT DIDN'T END THERE!
Oh no! The evil vending machine has returned!! It ate my dollar! Again!! my...uh...
third one.
This time I almost expected it. almost. "Surely they've fixed it by now!" They didn't.
"Well, they're never going to fix it if no one says anything, right?"
I ashamedly headed back to the girl at the desk. To my shame she was on the phone saying, "yeah, she's here! She just walked in." she hung up, then, "that was the maintenence guy, he said he'd be here soon."
"oh, ok."
[awkward pause]
"uh, do I have to be here when he comes? (because I was planning on hiding my face from all humanity from now on)"
"Well, I guess not. He just wanted to know if you were still here."
"oh."
[awkward pause]
"Well, I guess I'm just the problem child today... the vending machine just ate my dollar. Is there something I can do about that?" (I did NOT mention my previous experience... "This has never happened before! it was so unexpected! how dare a vending machine take my dollar. Just this one. Not any others. Nope. I didn't know this might happen. I am a victim! Fool me once it did!)
"You can talk to food services in the basement. They handle refunds and that sort of stuff."
"oh, ok! Thanks!"
[push the button for the elevator...wait awkwardly while she sits behind me at the desk]
I have no intention of going to food services. Why? "uh, hi. The vending machine is broken. I know this because i've lost $3 to it. What's that? uh yes, I did put the dollars in at three seperate times. Yes, it was for the same item all three times. Yes, I am a student here. No, I'm sure it wasn't an accident. Well, I'm sure the president will appreciate your input on the increasing the difficulty of the applications. Thanks for your time."
Stay tuned for Part 4!
(just kidding. If there actually is a part 4 you will probably never see me again because I will hide myself from humanity in hopes of creating a more intelligent world.)
(You're welcome.)
